“The hours creep on apace, my guilty heart is quaking…”
I’ve had the same dream sixteen nights running.
In it, two people are standing there, one takes a call, bursts into a smile and walks away. And the other screams silently, because one cannot scream in a dream.
- Pray for mercy. You lived for no other purpose than today. Pray that you may have lived for a joyful today, and not a today of fire.
- We have lived for no other purpose than today, but what is the purpose of day without a day to live for? Look, the sun rises. A new day. In this life, we can’t choose how many days we have, but we can choose how many days we use.
- …It seems like, in looking up to heaven, we lost track of the world.
- But I’m here.
- But Sarah, my love, you are heavenly…
- … back in those days when this mess began, we sang this little hymn to each other. We never used it in services, we never shared it with anyone; it was always our hymn. Do you remember how it goes?
- It goes up and down, and up and down, and up, down and up, and up and down a little, and up and down, up, down, up, hold!
- No, John, I mean the words.
To a hidden one
Thought I’d mention this, though words often fail me now, but you ought to know.
Hidden one, my friend, where are you in this dark night, where can I find you?
Dreaming close kisses, I knew I was lost for good, maybe to be found.
How could I have known, that fearing and despairing, would bring about the
sucking oranges, and looking into bright eyes - those haunting bright eyes?
Why do I have to hurt every minute of the day? Every other minute would be quite charming. Every fourth would be kinda cool, in fact.
Sometimes, I just wish I had a time machine, so I could go back a day or two. But I’d probably end up doing something stupid, and setting off a chain reaction that kills my grandfather, and by extension, my self (oh, the grandfather paradox…)
I just wish someone could show me love. I have given nothing but love. Maybe too much love.
